


Hello, Henlo Here

by tmwillson3



Category: Star Wars - All Media Types, Star Wars Sequel Trilogy
Genre: Alternate Universe - Crack, Chicken AU, Chickens, Crack, Everyone's Genderbent, F/M, Fluff, Fluff and Crack, Fluff and Humor, Genderbending, Thirst Tweets from Hens, Thirsty Hens at a Hen Party, Tooth-Rotting Fluff
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-06-08
Updated: 2020-06-08
Packaged: 2021-03-04 00:28:08
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 6,469
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24614509
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/tmwillson3/pseuds/tmwillson3
Summary: "Wouldn’t you like to escape the roost tonight and meet some roosters?" asked Han Henley gently, as all the other hens present gathered around them.Henlo hedged. "I don't know-""I sense a great deal of confusion in you, young Henlo. There is much fear that clouds your judgment," said Mace Hendu, a large Cochin, as she wandered closer. "Don't let a couple of bad eggs ruin your fun! Let a rooster or two give you the ride of your life and live life to the fullest!""Much to learn, you still have," said Yohen, a silver Seabright and the oldest hen at the fair. "Escape you must. Ride a cock you will.""Before he mounts you quickly and struts away," added Chewhenna."Tonight."While at the county fair, Henlo discovers the most majestic rooster she's ever seen: RoosRey.Too bad she's too shy to speak to him and can't stop laying eggs and leaving them for him.
Relationships: Kylo Ren/Rey, Rey/Ben Solo | Kylo Ren
Comments: 6
Kudos: 14
Collections: A Picture is worth 1000 Words - PL Summer Exchange





	Hello, Henlo Here

**Author's Note:**

  * For [supremeoverlordkat](https://archiveofourown.org/users/supremeoverlordkat/gifts).



> It's not quite your birthday where you are, Kristin, but Happy Birthday! May Henlo bring you many eggs.

As the hot sun beat down over a cloudless, cerulean sky, a new energy filled the air of the once empty fairgrounds. 

Summer had come at last, and with it, the annual county fair.

Kids screamed and darted between patrons and their parents' legs. The smell of deep-fried food and street corn permeated the air. Cheesy carnival music and Taylor Swift blasted through the speakers in various parts of the giant fairgrounds, but not quite everywhere. 

In one small corner of the fair, nestled within several long tents and white buildings, a very different set of sounds was the norm. Livestock. The mooing of cows taking care of their young. Horses whinnying as their tails tried to swat away flies. Hens clucking and brooding as roosters strutted their stuff and crowed at all hours further away in different coops. 

It was Henlo's second county fair, and she paced about her pen in excitement, occasionally losing white feathers from her fine plumage in the sweltering heat. She never saw this many people on the large farm that raised her, and she loved showing off her perfect feathers to all who would look her way. 

"Obi-Wan, isn't it dangerous to get so close to the humans and let them touch you?" asked Henlo as she watched Obi-Wan Henobi, a gold Phoenix, raise her head to the top edge of the low part of the wire fence to allow passing humans to pet her. 

Like Henlo, Obi-Wan preened under attention and was bred for show. 

"Of course not, Henlo. The ones who come here just want to touch our pretty feathers and see a celebrity."

"I don't think humans actually eat us; I think they like looking at us too much," said Fenn, a black Australorp and the youngest hen who had joined them to people-watch. 

"I wouldn't say that, Fenn. However, given the way you lay eggs, you need never fear being eaten. Your eggs most certainly will be eaten, though," said Obi-Wan, scandalizing Fenn into going back to her nest inside the coop. When the gathered crowd left, Obi-Wan sighed, "Ooh, Ratine, how I miss you!" Henlo waited for more and wasn't disappointed. "Step on my wattle, Ratine, you rudely large cock!"

Whenever Ratine wasn't around, Obi-Wan turned to others for love and attention. Henlo shook her head in disbelief and wandered off, not wanting to listen to the thirsty hen who already missed her rooster after being away less than three days. Henlo didn't want to be touched, as she feared having her perfectly fluffed feathers being ruined. 

She considered herself exotic with her black skin and bones, blue earlobes, and five toes on each foot. That, combined with the fluffy nature of her feathers, made her prized for show. 

She came from a long, proud line of white Silkies, starting with Qui-Hen and Schri. The white afro of Schri had been Qui-Hen's downfall: all it took was one smoldering circle dance around Qui-Hen with the fluffy afro swaying back and forth, and Qui-Hen let Schri jump her. Qui-Hen's greatest legacy was Anahen. When Anahen mated with Padme Amicocka, Luhen and LeiRa were born.

Luhen had preferred to brood over eggs, rather than have chicks of her own, but even she eventually was convinced by MaRo, in a neighboring farm. MaRo was, unfortunately, a black Chabo, so she stuck to laying eggs, rather than show. When Han Henley spied LeiRa at a fair some years ago, she hopped the fence to join LeiRa and was welcomed by all, and so Henlo came to be. 

"You're not going to find a nice rooster inside here, sweetheart," said Han from the ramp to the chicken coop, the Millenihen Falcon. "You have to escape this wiring first."

"Why does everything have to be about mating and finding a rooster? I'm not here to lay eggs; I'm here for show," pouted Henlo. "I have the most beautiful ivory feathers of everyone here."

Han waddled over to Henlo and tutted. "You say that now, but you'll squawk a different tune when you meet a strapping, young rooster. I thought like you, too, and then I met your father, LeiRa. I never wanted a rooster to fertilize my eggs faster."

As Henlo cried in disgust, she marched away. Han scurried behind, right on her tail feathers. "You ought to have more eggs at your age! You need a nice, strong rooster to continue in the family show tradition! Don't you want to have cute baby chicks of your own?"

The young hen stopped and considered. "I do, but all the ones I've met I don't like," complained Henlo, scratching the ground with a talon. 

She wasn't about to let any old rooster jump her as Poe Damehen was known for. There was a reason Poe was in the Miracle of Life tent, popping out eggs and watching them hatch: every rooster saw her sleek, white feathers and wanted to dance around her. As a Leghorn breed, Poe just wanted to lay eggs.

"It's a big fair, and LeiRa says there are some prime choices for you. Wouldn’t you like to escape the roost tonight and meet some roosters?" asked Han Henley gently, as all the other hens present gathered around them. 

Henlo hedged. "I don't know-"

"I sense a great deal of confusion in you, young Henlo. There is much fear that clouds your judgment," said Mace Hendu, a large Cochin, as she wandered closer. "Don't let a couple of bad eggs ruin your fun! Let a rooster or two give you the ride of your life and live life to the fullest!"

"Much to learn, you still have," said Yohen, a silver Seabright and the oldest hen at the fair. "Escape you must. Ride a cock you will."

"Before he mounts you quickly and struts away," added Chewhenna. 

"Tonight."

With that last pronouncement from Yohen made, Henlo knew she was in for an adventure. It was a time-honored tradition that every county fair, one hen was chosen to explore the fairgrounds and tell of what she saw. 

She was excited to be chosen, and for the rest of the day, Henlo sat on Han's and Anahen's eggs, resting up. She also tried to lay an egg since she knew one was coming, but nothing would pop out. When it was dusk, Henlo left the coop, heading to the low part of the wiring, where the rest of the flock of hens waited for her.

Except one. Snoken. A black Modern Game with dark eyes and black legs, she was almost as old as Yohen. She cornered Henlo as soon as she left the coop. 

"If I were you, I wouldn't leave the pen. It's dangerous out there; humans don't really like us. We ought to rise up before they kill and eat us all," warned Snoken. 

"They're not so bad, and hardly anyone will be around shortly," replied Henlo, not liking the skinny, sickly hen. 

"I would be a better choice to leave; I know their tricks and history of cruelty toward us. You ever hear the tragedy of Darth Palpahen the Wise?"

Henlo's eyes broadened in fear. "No."

"I thought not. It's not a story the hens would tell you. One time, Palpahen left the pen, and she tried to eat something dropped on the ground. At the same moment, a human tried to pick up the food, and she pecked at him. A day later, she was fried and turned into Chicken McNuggets! Here, at this very fair!"

Henlo squawked in panic, at least until Luhen stepped in. 

"You're not telling the whole story, Snoken. That's why you're never chosen to leave. You lie, just like Palpahen did!"

"What really happened?" asked Henlo, frightened, stepping away from both.

"Palpahen bit a keeper to assert dominance while trying to eat something she shouldn't have, and she was removed. We don't actually know if she was turned into those golden brown nuggets all the people eat." 

Facing Henlo, she nudged the younger hen toward her freedom as Snoken disappeared and brooded over eggs. The rest of the hens gathered around her gave her tips and things to look out for as she wandered. 

"Check on Poe and see how many eggs have hatched. I'm waiting to see if it was ZorRo or KayRa who ended up fertilizing her this time."

"If you see a human, hide."

"Greet your father for me. Also, if you see a rooster you like, approach him!" encouraged Han.

"But only if he's one of the smaller, daintier Silkies like us," interrupted Anahen. "We have great expectations for you."

"Always take the high ground," said Obi-Wan. "Then you can see all the available roosters. It's nice to have options, and all will be begging to have you."

"And if the roosters are cagey, leave them a gift," suggested Cassian Hendor, a buff Orpington. "You can't fly, so leave a few of those valuable feathers."

As soon as they were done giving their thoughts, all the hens gathered below the lowest part of the wire, as though sitting on their brood.

"Just climb on top of us, and then jump over the rest of the way! It's easier to get back in than out since there's a latch."

After jumping and losing several more feathers in the process, Henlo was free. She followed the sounds of the animals until she found the Miracle of Life tent, running in a zigzag line around large waste buckets, sticky gum, and trash to avoid unpleasant things that could ruin how she looked. After checking on Poe, she left the tent, hearing the roosters nearby. 

Quickly she spotted LeiRa, who crowed as soon as he saw his daughter. 

"You've been chosen! There are five other Silkie roosters like us present, and they're all perfect, with the right size and amount of fluff to their feathers. I'm sure you'll like one of them. But, before you talk to them, do your father a favor and check on my main competitor for this year, RoosRey. He's the black Silkie who beat me last year for 'Best Cock in Show'. I want to know if he's back and looking as well."

Henlo remembered just how sad LeiRa was after that competition for several months. Nudging her beak in past the wiring, Henlo nuzzled her father. "I will find him. When I do, I will crush your enemy and grind his bones into dirt!"

"That's so thoughtful of you. I knew I raised you right," said LeiRa, beaks touching affectionately. "No need, however. I know I can beat him this year. Just look at him and bring back news of my competition."

Henlo agreed and made her way toward the area where LeiRa said RoosRey would be kept. It was a large pen on the corner, despite housing only one rooster, making RoosRey easily seen by many. The coop was red with a blue tarp covering it, and even that seemed too big for a single rooster. 

At first, Henlo saw nothing but black, fluffy feathers everywhere, but then, RoosRey burst out of his coop, puffing out his chest. Henlo barely had time to hide behind a trashcan before RoosRey crowed loudly and looked around.

And just like that, Henlo laid her egg. 

She had never seen such fine plumage on a male before, so full and silky-looking, nor such power in the short legs that carried RoosRey quickly across the pen. The way he puffed out his broad chest showed that he had some large breasts and good bone structure for future chicks. His tail feathers were magnificently long and fluffy, and his crow was loud and protective. 

All in all, he was a perfect cock. 

And Henlo was too shy to approach such a towering figure of rooster perfection. Henlo just stared at RoosRey, unable to do more than sit on her egg and cluck quietly. He was, by all accounts, the ideal guy she had in mind.

When RoosRey finally went inside his coop, Henlo clucked in relief.

"Why must my enemy be the only cock I’ve ever wanted?" she bemoaned quietly, no longer wanting to see the other roosters.

There was no way they could compare, and LeiRa was sure to lose again. Henlo herself was ready to declare RoosRey simply the best in every possible way. 

However, Henlo still needed to report back to her father, and she knew she ought to look at the other offerings, just to say she had to LeiRa.

But what was she supposed to do about her egg? For that matter, should she talk to RoosRey?

She decided against talking, too afraid and shy that she wasn't worthy of his attention. Instead, she got a better idea: give the egg to RoosRey as a gift of her devotion. If he seemed to like it, then she would give him more. 

Nudging the egg through the wiring, she covered it with a blanket of her fluffy feathers, to keep it warm during the night. After that, she scurried off, pausing briefly to view the other roosters.

They were all  _ severely _ lacking. 

All of them admired her, which was nice; however, they weren't RoosRey. 

"Well, my daughter, what did you think of that group of Silkies? Any of them appealing to you?" asked LeiRa when Henlo returned.

"No. I don't want any of them."

Letting out a short crow of disapproval, LeiRa stomped his foot. "My daughter, if you want to stay in the show category, you must produce young of your own. This is the way. You need a rooster."

"I don't want them."

"Then come back tomorrow night and talk to them a little more. Let them dance for you," instructed LeiRa. "How does RoosRey look this year?"

"He's going to win the medal again," declared Henlo, not mincing words. "I've never seen a finer rooster."

LeiRa shook his tail feathers in annoyance. "What am I? Chicken bits? You don't know that for sure."

"He's loud and magnificent. Is his farm close by?" asked Henlo innocently. 

"No," insisted LeiRa. "We are not letting any more chickens join our coop. Bringing in Han was hard enough."

Henlo squawked in indignation. "I don't want to mate with him!"

"Sure sounds like it. I've never heard you compliment a rooster before besides me."

"Because you're the best," insisted Henlo. 

"Not anymore if you think RoosRey will win," pouted LeiRa. "Head back soon before it grows much darker. Say hello to your mother for me."

"She misses you already."

"Tell her I'll jump her as soon as we're united," said LeiRa, leaning in nudging his daughter. "Just don't say it around the others, or you'll start a hen party. Those are ridiculous."

LeiRa shuddered at the thought as Henlo withdrew and headed back home for the night. "We'll see."

As soon as Hen found and undid the latch to the pen, the other hens helped her inside and led her to the coop. There, Anahen and Han sat on their eggs and others as they so loved to do, and all the hens sat in rows in their respective nests. 

Once all were settled, Cassian asked, "How is Poe doing?"

"She's healthy. One chick has poked its beak out. Too soon to tell the father."

"Two worms says it's KayRa."

"I tell you it's ZorRo. I'd bet all my feed tomorrow it is so."

"HolRo it will be," predicted Yohen, shocking everyone with the new suggestion.

All the hens chattered excitedly, so Henlo leaned over to whisper to Han. "LeiRa says hello and says he wants to mount you when you're reunited."

The whole coop went deadly silent, and Henlo realized she had made a mistake. As it was, Han was grinning and preening. 

"Ooh, I'm going to get me some fine cock soon, and I can't wait!" cried Han, standing and doing a little dance around her nest before sitting back down. Looking pleased with herself, she declared, "Smother my cloaca, you monster cock!"

Henlo buried her head in her nest, not wanting to think about what her parents did. As the noise level doubled in intensity, Henlo knew she had begun a hen party. 

Her worst fears were realized as every thirsty hen talked about what they missed and wanted most: more cock. 

Obi-Wan wailed, having gone the longest without getting any, "Ruffle my feathers, you tasty McNugget!"

Mace Hendu went to the center of the aisle. "Snap my beak, you massive feed bucket!"

Anahen's tail feathers went low to the ground as she raised her head and screeched, "Tickle my tenders with your talons, you perfect specimen!"

One by one, all of the hens expressed their frustration, even Snoken and Yohen. 

Soon, only Henlo hadn't said anything, and all looked at her expectantly. Thinking of RoosRey, she exclaimed, "Fertilize my eggs, you delectable jizz trough!"

All of the hens clucked in approval as Han and Luhen leaned over with conspiratorial looks and low voices. "Does this mean you found a cock you want to ride you?"

"Yes," agreed Henlo sheepishly, leaving out who exactly. 

"What news! You must visit him tomorrow and convince him to mate before you leave the fair. You have just under two weeks."

"What if I'm afraid to talk to him?" admitted Henlo worriedly.

"You're my daughter; you'll find a way," insisted Han proudly. 

Soon, Han was proclaiming the good news to the whole coop, and all congratulated Henlo. They continued to chat in hushed tones until they fell asleep, and Henlo hoped that her egg stayed warm enough. 

All throughout the next day, Henlo nervously moved around the pen, never staying still for long.

Toward midday, Han came up to her and led her into the coop to talk. "I can't believe it's finally happened, that you finally found the perfect rooster for you. He must be something."

"How do you know?" asked Henlo in surprise. 

"Because I acted just like you when I met your father. Rest up, sweetheart. I'll find you when it's time to go. And do try to lay an egg; you're behind on laying again."

Henlo rested but still couldn't lay an egg. Before long, she was visiting LeiRa and the other white Silkies, talking dutifully and telling them about the award she won the year before. All were impressed, and one even asked her to come back the next night for more fun. 

After agreeing out of duty, Henlo visited the one she really wanted: RoosRey. She had to sneak up on him because he was out when she arrived, so she hid behind the trashcan once more. 

He seemed just as majestic as yesterday, but he seemed more perturbed as he paced, his thick thighs making Henlo weak at the knees. The only thing that distracted Henlo from her viewing was the sight of her egg, rolled against RoosRey's coop, evidently dug into a hole since it was only half visible. In addition, some of RoosRey's feathers covered it. 

As soon as she saw how well RoosRey protected her gift, Henlo popped out another. Sitting on it, she fretted about what to do until the fine specimen of rooster crowed and entered his coop. Cursing her inability to speak, she decided to leave him another egg and some feathers as a gift, this time in a different spot along the fence.

When the hen party commenced later that night, Henlo was ready. "Shatter my knees, you fuckable redwood!"

Several hens gave her looks after that. Henlo shrugged. "He has very large, powerful thighs, just like those big trees."

All the hens clucked their approval. 

When she returned the following night to RoosRey, her second gift was just as lovingly protected, and he had even been looking at them when she arrived. So pleased she was, she left him another egg. As she snuck away, she accidentally tripped on a piece of trash. She let out an ungraceful squawk and barely had time to hide before RoosRey came running out. 

"Who's there? Show yourself."

Henlo hid, petrified. She wanted to speak but feared that he secretly hated watching over the eggs. 

"I'm not angry. Just surprised and curious," said RoosRey, as though reading her mind. "I want to talk to you."

Henlo waited for her rooster to give up. Once he had been inside the coop for ten minutes, she creeped away, promising herself to talk to him by the end of the week. 

She left him three more eggs, and she grew more relieved and willing to talk as she saw him take care of all her eggs, even watching him dig a hole for a nest with his talons one night. 

That was dedication. She resolved to speak to him the following night, especially as she watched him dig and compact the dirt, jumping on it repeatedly and roughly. When he finished nestling the egg away, he sat awkwardly on it, much to her pleasure. 

When the nightly hen party commenced, Henlo screeched, "Break my wings, you brooding mountain!"

"You're getting excited about him. Have you spoken yet?" asked Han at the end of the hen party.

"No, but I'm going to show myself tomorrow and hope for the best. He seems to like my eggs."

"Of course he does. I'm still not sure why you're giving him your precious eggs, though."

"I can't really explain it. I see him, and I lay an egg. He does something protective and nice; boom, I'm laying eggs."

Luhen chuckled. "You have it bad for him."

"I do. What if he doesn't like me? Or you don't like him?"

"As long as you like him, I'm sure I will. Any rooster who will take care of eggs so well is a good choice."

Thus encouraged, Henlo allowed her family to help groom her in preparation for finally talking to RoosRey. Feathers were fluffed, and stray ones were plucked. All dirt and bugs were removed until she was immaculate. 

When she visited LeiRa that night, he saw an immediate difference. 

"You like someone. You've been very coy and staying out longer … who is it? Which Silkie has caught your eye?"

"I won't say. He's very protective of the gifts I leave him, though."

"You're serious." LeiRa stated it as fact, not a question, and he nodded his head. "I see. Well, nothing I say is going to make a difference. Enjoy yourself."

"Thank you."

A little peck, and Henlo was off, making her way to the white Silkies who now daily strutted in front of her, hoping she would be tempted to jump the fence for a little ride. 

As if. They were not worthy of her and her fine plumage. 

"You keep coming, but never inside! Join me," called one rooster.

"I promise to last longer than he will!"

"Shut your beak, cockblocker!"

"You first, cocksucker!"

Winners, the lot of them. "I haven't been won over by any of you cockerels yet. You'll have to try harder," she replied airily. 

"This is the best you're going to get," said one as he fluffed his feathers out proudly, admiring his reflection in the metal casing of the water spout.

"Cocks," she muttered in exasperation before stalking off. "Then I don't choose any of you."

When she made it to RoosRey's pen, she was overjoyed to see him sitting on the eggs, as though it would summon her. She dragged a talon through the dirt until it pinged against the trashcan, alerting RoosRey.

"Who's there?"

Stepping out slowly, she lifted a wing and waved at him awkwardly. "Hello, Henlo here."

The rooster's beak dropped open as moonlight filtered onto the gleaming white, fluffy feathers of Henlo. With her sparkling eyes and beak opened partly, she was a goddess, a true beacon of light as she stepped forward. 

"Henlo? Are you the one who left all six of these eggs?"

If Henlo could've blushed, she would've. She trotted forward until she was next to the fence. "Yes. I carried an egg. For you. I've never met a rooster like you before. So big and such large breasts."

RoosRey puffed up. "All the better to protect my hens with. Just like I am with your eggs."

She clucked softly before saying, "I hope that wasn't odd, leaving those with you. I couldn't help myself, and I was nervous to speak to you."

"You shouldn't. You're beautiful," said RoosRey, approaching until he stood in front of the fence. "A true worm among seeds. Delectable."

Henlo felt the urge to lay an egg again and resisted. "You're too kind."

"You're the one leaving gifts. No one's ever given me one before. Your feathers are so soft," he said, sticking his beak through the wire fence to nuzzle her feathers. "You're very considerate of your eggs. I like that."

With a large thump, Henlo laid another egg. She ducked her head as RoosRey looked around, crowing loudly to alert all. 

When he wouldn't stop, she finally squawked, "No, stop! That was me."

He calmed down and tilted his head. "How?"

She stepped aside and showed him her newest egg.

"All I have to do is be near you, and I want to lay more eggs than I ever have in my whole life."

"That's … not a bad thing as far as I'm concerned," he replied eyeing the egg. "Would you like to help me protect it with the others?'

"Could I?!"

Within moments, the egg was pushed under the fence, and RoosRey showed Henlo a way inside. Together they dug a hole and pulled feathers out to cover the new egg, and when they were done, Henlo sank gratefully onto her first egg.

"I've missed these so much. Thank you for protecting them. Would you like to sit on them for a while with me?"

"Sit?" RoosRey paused before adding, "Sure, I could sit with you. And talk?" he asked, drawing closer.

"I'd like that," said Henlo with relief, glad that he didn't try to jump her right away.

She wanted to stay in her pristine shape until the judging was done. Then, he could cock up her looks as much as he wanted when he jumped her like a hen finding a tasty snack. 

For several hours, the two chatted, and Henlo didn't leave until she heard a particularly loud and unusual crow from a neighboring rooster. Usually, that was when she went to sleep with her flock.

"Oh no!" Images of her fellow hens worried about her made her jump up. "I need to go. My flock will be missing me."

"I'll miss you, too. You'll come back tomorrow?" he asked, helping her over the fence.

"Oh yes." She clucked softly under the attention. "Much earlier next time."

He pecked at her cheek. "Even better. See you soon, Henlo."

"Good night, RoosRey."

Henlo snuck back to her pen, only to have Han and Luhen pump her for information as soon as she returned. 

"What happened? How did it go? Did you let him ride you?"

"Yes, tell us everything!" added Luhen.

"Calm down! Let me catch my breath!" squawked Henlo, shaking her feathers out.

"We're living vicariously through you and your love life, so no," said Luhen, amid giggles from Han. 

After a brief description of the evening, the three went to sleep. Henlo slept for most of it, and as soon as she could, she left the pen in search of RoosRey. LeiRa shook his head at his daughter and encouraged her onward.

"You like this rooster a lot more than I originally thought, leaving the pen this close to judging. I'm happy for you."

Henlo let out a little noise of dismay, having completely forgotten about that. "I guess so."

"Go. Enjoy yourself."

"I will." 

She scurried away and found RoosRey quickly. He was waiting impatiently at his gate, crowing as soon as he saw her. 

"You look lovely in the pale moonlight," said RoosRey, pecking at her cheek. "Thank you for coming. Does your flock not worry about you doing this?"

"My father does, but the hens encourage it," said Henlo, looking away guiltily as they sat on Henlo's eggs to chat.

"Well, if I were there, things would be different. Would you like it if I were there among your flock?" asked RoosRey nonchalantly.

"Yes! Very much!" screeched Henlo, looking away in embarrassment. "And Poe was just complaining before we left that there was a lack of roosters in our flock."

"Then how is your flock being protected?" crowed RoosRey with horror. 

"Our owners don't think of the hens and our needs enough. But I think you do," she said, clucking happily.

"I would. Which is why I need to ask: when are you being judged?"

"In two days time."

"Then after tonight, as much as I want to see you more, I'd ask you to stay in your pen. I want you to look your best and stay safe for the judging. Mine is in three days time. I'll join your flock when I finish … if you'd like that."

RoosRey actually looked worried for a moment. Henlo burst up and pecked him lovingly.

"I would."

RoosRey crowed joyfully. "Then I will."

The two talked long into the night, sitting snuggled next to one another the whole time. Henlo told her favorite rooster of everyone in her flock, sharing numerous stories of their hijinks and the large tract of land that they had. The chickens all stayed just outside the large, white barn, in a long series of chicken coops, which allowed for much fun. RoosRey only grew more determined to join her. When it was almost dawn, Henlo reluctantly got off her eggs to leave. 

They were at the gate when RoosRey said, "Those feathers won't be fluffy so long. I'm going to give you an unforgettable ride and ruffle all those feathers as soon as I enter your pen."

"Oh!" Henlo's tail feathers jumped up in surprise, and another egg dropped just inside the pen. "Crack it all. I thought I would go one night without laying an egg in front of you."

"You'll be laying a lot more very soon if I have anything to say about it," replied RoosRey smugly, rolling the egg toward the others.

"We'll have the most beautiful grey chicks," said Henlo in awe, making RoosRey crow again. Once the egg was next to its brethren, the rooster returned to his favorite hen, resting his head against hers. 

"We will. Many. As many as you want. Now, head back to your pen and rest. I'll take good care of this egg. I want you at your best."

Henlo ducked her head. "Thank you."

"Thank you for your gifts and being so accepting of me. I am mostly ignored in my own flock since there are many roosters."

"Then you must come to the pen!" she cried as he closed the gate. "I've got a blank space, baby, and I'll write your name."

"I will. With something special for you."

Henlo waddled away, delighted with all that had transpired between them. 

When she returned, Luhen, Chewhenna, and Han were there. "Well? Did he jump you?"

"No, but he will after I've been judged! And he wants to join our flock!" As those gathered stared in open-beaked shock, Henlo sang, "I could have talked all night. I could have sat all night and still have begged for more. I could have spread my wings and done a thousand things I've never done before."

"She's smitten. Things couldn't have ended better for her and her adventures outside the pen than this," remarked Han. "I'm so proud!"

"And she's bringing a nice, strong rooster with her!"

"Alright, enough from you two. Let's go to sleep," said Chewhenna, a large, gold-penciled Wesphalia hen, nudging Henlo into the coop. "You've got a couple of big days ahead."

Henlo rested and brooded over many eggs while waiting patiently for her time to be judged and for RoosRey to come. All the hens save Snoken took turns grooming and giving her tips for her first time being mounted. 

When Henlo was judged, she was rewarded for her continued effort to maintain her perfect feathers and look by receiving "Best In Show" among the hens in her category. The ribbon with her name hung proudly on the side of the pen for all to see, and then, Henlo waited as patiently as possible for RoosRey to arrive. 

When news came that LeiRa lost to RoosRey again, all but Henlo were sad. Henlo was proud of her rooster, and LeiRa sat sullenly in his pen after the event was over. 

However, not long into the night, he heard a soft scraping noise that grew gradually closer until RoosRey revealed himself, wearing his "Best Cock in Show" medal and dragging white daisies and a blue tarp with him. 

"Foghorn's beak! What are you doing?" crowed LeiRa, especially when RoosRey stopped in front of him. 

"I'm joining your flock, and there's nothing you can do to stop me. I love Henlo, and we're going to have the most beautiful, award-winning grey chicks you ever saw," said RoosRey with pride as LeiRa's beak dropped open. 

"Not even asking for my approval, are you?" asked LeiRa finally, eyeing the new arrival carefully and puffing out his chest and feathers.

RoosRey strutted forward, hackles up and even bigger and fluffier than LeiRa. "No. We like and respect one another, and we both care about Henlo. Besides, it sounds like your flock needs more roosters. I can help protect, just as I have with these eggs of Henlo."

He pulled the tarp back, revealing seven eggs. LeiRa let out a choked noise. 

"Henlo laid all of those? I can't get her to do that many at home in a week. How?" asked LeiRa in surprise. 

"Because she loves me … just as I love her. I'm shipping myself over to your flock, along with her eggs. You can help me drag them or not. Your choice."

LeiRa jumped over his fence gracefully before tapping an end of the tarp with his talon. "I'll believe you jumped her when I see it. I still think she'll change her mind. if you can convince her, you're welcome to join."

"I will."

With that, the two journeyed with their precious cargo to Henlo, who was pacing nervously, worried that her rooster wouldn't come. When a loud scraping noise was heard, followed by a crow from LeiRa, she stopped in surprise. 

"Han, I think you have company tonight."

Her mother ducked her head out of the coop, running down the ramp. "You heard it, too? Oh, I hope my rooster is making a surprise visit! He can jump me all night long." Yelling a little louder, she screeched, "Snap off my talons, you big, unwashed cock!"

"With pleasure," grunted LeiRa, making Han and the other hens nearby all cluck in excitement. 

"Me next!"

"Pick me!"

"Get in line, ladies. He's mine," declared Han proudly, fluffing out her feathers. "That cock likes my breasts most."

"Big and beautiful, like our children! Just wait until JaiRa and Jahen come next year!"

Han wiggled her tail feathers in delight. "Ravage my cockscomb, you majestic rooster!"

LeiRa appeared with RoosRey, white daisies in his beak as an offering, along with the tarp behind him, making all gasp and start chatting excitedly. Henlo and Han felt every thirstier than before. 

"Who's that with you, sweetheart?" asked Han appreciatively. "Looks like RoosRey, your sworn enemy."

"It is." LeiRa stopped as Henlo made goo goo eyes with RoosRey. "Would you believe that rooster had the audacity to not only beat me again but then come visit my pen and tell me he was joining my flock?" Henlo looked up hopefully. She squawked and started rushing toward the low end of the fence when she heard LeiRa's next words. "Worse, he told me he intended to ride my precious Henlo tonight. Can you believe the balls on this cock?"

Chewhenna was already at the fence when she saw the running start and fierce look on Henlo's face as she went to get her some cock. Bracing herself below, she lifted up when Henlo jumped on top of her, and in the next moment, Henlo flew through the air, RoosRey dashing ahead to be underneath her when she landed. 

All the hens looked on with shock as the tarp revealed Henlo's seven eggs, and then Henlo's loud, excited landing as she rode the cock of her dreams.

"You came," she said breathily. 

"Of course I did. I've come to claim my hen. I've got big plans for you, Henlo," said RoosRey, nudging Henlo softly before running in a circle. "See? I'm strong. I carried you and your eggs."

"You did." Henlo hopped off and sat on the ground expectantly, clucking invitingly.

RoosRey picked off his medal and laid it around Henlo's neck. He danced in a circle around her as LeiRa moved to the edge of the pen, next to Han. Both looked on with pride, and all the other hens buzzed with excitement. 

When the dance was done, RoosRey jumped and mounted Henlo, balancing and remaining on top of her for some time before popping off. 

All the hens lost it.

"I want a big, strong cock to do that to me!"

"Impale my cloaca, you unbelievable monstrosity!"

"You can destroy my comb anyday!"

"They really need some good cock, don't they?" asked RoosRey as he settled down next to Henlo and snuggled against her. 

"They do, but they can get their own. You're mine," she declared, sighing happily as he ran his beak along her neck. 

"Always. Just like you're mine, Henlo. Just wait until we have chicks of our own."

Another egg dropped from Henlo, and she clucked happily. "Very soon, I hope."

"I can't believe we're losing our long, prestigious line of Silike winners," groused LeiRa.

"Oh, hush. We have JaiRa and Jahen still."

"We do. I couldn't have parted with my Henlo with anyone less worthy."

"Of course. Come on, you big cock, and fertilize my eggs. I've been missing you," said Han, headbutting LeiRa.

"My thirsty hen. How I've missed you."

A little after that, the lovebirds were herded back inside the pen, along with all of Henlo's eggs and a satisfied Han. The new couple remained cuddled together all night, until their owner found them, and when they returned home three days later, RoosRey had a new home, where he was greeted warmly. 

Some time later, the whole flock rejoiced when Henlo's eggs hatched, revealing the most precious, beautiful, black, white, grey chicks anyone had seen. Everyone loved them, none more so than Henlo and RoosRey.

The whole family lived happily ever after on their farm.

**Author's Note:**

> THE END
> 
> Others have helped make this crackfic come to life, and they are all the true MVPs. For the fanart, you can thank [Mudheart7567](Mudheart7567)


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